Joyce Tesar

Joyce Tesar is alive in our hearts as a vibrant, intelligent, beautiful, outgoing, and kind woman. She was taken from us by early-onset Alzheimer's at age 65. She passed away peacefully in a nursing home, Absolut Care of Aurora Park, with her partner of nearly 30 years, Jeanne Laurel, at her side. Even in the nursing home, with the disease making it difficult for her to communicate, she was loved by her caregivers as an uplifting and witty presence with a mischievous smile and a sense of humor to match.

She is survived by her four siblings Curt, Ann, Tess and Gail. They recall growing up with her in a small town near New York City. Even as a child/young adult, Joyce’s sense of humor, irrepressible curiosity, creativity, spirituality and love for all things musical was evident for all to see. She had a lovely singing voice and the talent to play almost any musical instrument in the school’s marching band and orchestra, from flute, to French horn and even the tuba.

She was married to Michael Hopkins (Ajamu Mbete), and after they parted as friends, Joyce became Jeanne's domestic partner. They lived in the Town of Tonawanda with a rotating cast of cats. Joyce was able to complete her bachelor's degree at the University at Buffalo, but the unrecognized beginnings of Alzheimer's made it impossible for her push further.

She loved music, especially the Grateful Dead and the Rolling Stones. She was an enthusiastic amateur drummer, part of a number of local drum circles; she loved creating jewelry; and she was a fierce advocate for disability rights. In almost any milieu, her bubbly good cheer would both light up a room, and bring everyone around her into a better mood.

She was cherished. She will be missed.

***

If you are moved to send a tribute, rather than flowers, the family suggests donations to the Alzheimer's Association in honor of Joyce Tesar. (Alz.org) This dedicated group of paid and volunteer helpers has sustained each of us with information, support, resources, and the comfort of knowing that while there is no cure yet, there are always the helpers that Mr Rogers told us to look for. And this is in addition to the organization's scholarly research activities.

A memorial service will be held at the First Spiritualist Temple of East Aurora, which is Jeanne’s home church. It is a very welcoming, dignified but casual group of people of like mind who I am sure will be delighted to meet other folks who are part of Joyce's life. One of our primary unspoken tenets is thou shalt not judge or pressure. I mentioned this because all kinds of organizations have suddenly become intimidating for some of us. We are not them.

To start us off, perhaps we can think about July 28, 2026, or a weekend in proximity, as that is a Tuesday. That date would have been Joyce's 66th birthday. You can contact Jeanne and she will place you on a list for further information; jeannelaurel@gmail.com.